I am not yours

Adv choir sang that song last year for competition. i never found these words true unti today. it hit me so quick. im hurting so bad. i want to be yours, but im not. you hurt me so bad. you played me good, ill give you that. you cant even be my friend, you cant even be around me. i feel like i cant even hang out with my friends in the choir room b/c your there, you might get mad im there or something. you broke my heart. i've never felt this before. you played with me for a good month, then dropped me right after break, and from there you just kept kicking me. now im in the ditch, and your judt putting dirt into it. why cant you just talk to me and tell me whats wrong. i just wish things would go back the way they use to be. im so sad, nothing can make me better. i just cry now. i never cry. i fuckin sobbed over you. ask anyone who was there. i didnt just cry, i hella sobbed. i hope you still come to our concert, and at least cheer for me. i still love you, and you will always be my honey bunches of oats. do you remember that? i hope you do. i hope we work this out. i miss you

ugh

its really getting to me. i hate not talking to you. i miss you. you dont seem to care tho. i thought we were close again. its killing me to just get ignored by you. i cant think of anything else. i dont know how to erase it from my head. i just wish we could talk about it, and go back to the way things were. i dont know how to do that tho =[

i cant believe you

why have you just been ignoring me these past 2 days? i'll text you or try to talk to you during school, and you dont even look at me. i thought we were close. i thought we had something. but you just ignore me, and it hurts. im so tired of it. why is it that you'll talk to everyone else in the room, and i get ignored? you didnt even show me the picture on your phone, buut you showed everyone else. im tired of trying. im tired of just being used and taken advantage of. just tell me you dont want me to be there, and im gone. i wont text you anymore to see how you are. i wont come to see you on my lunch. i wont even come to the concert if you dont want me there. just tell me so i dont try anymore. i have so much shit to be doing that i can focus on. your just a distraction. tell me you dont want me to care. tell me something. i hate being lost and just guessing on what you want. you dont need me. you dont want me. just let me be then

This is for Mia

Mia says i dont blog anymore. so this is for her. today sucked. choir sucked. class sucked. everything sucked. got free cookie dough tho. best part of the day. now im doing a paper. ima get a horrible grade on it. love you mia. this is for you