I am not yours

Adv choir sang that song last year for competition. i never found these words true unti today. it hit me so quick. im hurting so bad. i want to be yours, but im not. you hurt me so bad. you played me good, ill give you that. you cant even be my friend, you cant even be around me. i feel like i cant even hang out with my friends in the choir room b/c your there, you might get mad im there or something. you broke my heart. i've never felt this before. you played with me for a good month, then dropped me right after break, and from there you just kept kicking me. now im in the ditch, and your judt putting dirt into it. why cant you just talk to me and tell me whats wrong. i just wish things would go back the way they use to be. im so sad, nothing can make me better. i just cry now. i never cry. i fuckin sobbed over you. ask anyone who was there. i didnt just cry, i hella sobbed. i hope you still come to our concert, and at least cheer for me. i still love you, and you will always be my honey bunches of oats. do you remember that? i hope you do. i hope we work this out. i miss you

ugh

its really getting to me. i hate not talking to you. i miss you. you dont seem to care tho. i thought we were close again. its killing me to just get ignored by you. i cant think of anything else. i dont know how to erase it from my head. i just wish we could talk about it, and go back to the way things were. i dont know how to do that tho =[

i cant believe you

why have you just been ignoring me these past 2 days? i'll text you or try to talk to you during school, and you dont even look at me. i thought we were close. i thought we had something. but you just ignore me, and it hurts. im so tired of it. why is it that you'll talk to everyone else in the room, and i get ignored? you didnt even show me the picture on your phone, buut you showed everyone else. im tired of trying. im tired of just being used and taken advantage of. just tell me you dont want me to be there, and im gone. i wont text you anymore to see how you are. i wont come to see you on my lunch. i wont even come to the concert if you dont want me there. just tell me so i dont try anymore. i have so much shit to be doing that i can focus on. your just a distraction. tell me you dont want me to care. tell me something. i hate being lost and just guessing on what you want. you dont need me. you dont want me. just let me be then

This is for Mia

Mia says i dont blog anymore. so this is for her. today sucked. choir sucked. class sucked. everything sucked. got free cookie dough tho. best part of the day. now im doing a paper. ima get a horrible grade on it. love you mia. this is for you

bitch ass hoe

so today was pretty fun. went black friday shopping with the lesbians. me and kim were suppose to wake up at 330, but that didnt happen. it ended up being 430. we went to pick up megan, and headed out to shop. we got to Great Mall about5. shopped there for a while. Kim's word of the day was HOE. so she said it EVERYWHERE SHE COULD. after great mall, we went to valley fair. then we went to santana row. i've never been there before, so it was pretty cool. we spent most of our time at Urban Outfitters. it was pretty cool tho. after that we went to eat.. all of us were STARVING. we all ate the grand slam, and KIM FINISHED HER FOOD! oh and kim also walked PAST a forever 21, then walked into another and DIDNT BUY ANYTHING. i was very shocked. after denny's, we went to newpark to visit kristel at work, and to get kim a slushy. then we ran some errands and went to the movies where we met Hamed, Mia, Mix, and Andrew. we watched twilight =] it was really good. i was so tired that i was laughing at everything, and had to explain everything to my best friends on both sides of me. i kept saying BITCH ASS HOE at everything, and it kept making me and kim crack up. after the movie kim had to leave to go to work, so her and megan took off. they still have my stuff in her car. so the rest of us went to in n out and hung out. i love my friends. so now im home and very tired, but cant sleep til my mom gets her wedding rings and we have to go to yet ANOTHER mall to go shopping. i have lots of homework to do now, but cant because i have to get ready for the wedding =] im excited. so today was a good day, and tmo will be even better. i love my friends =]

best day ever

today was great. hamed and mia came over with bean. the bitch lady told us there were no dogs allowed. so we "took her home". then when we came back, we ate some food and chilled til jeannel got here. she brought us pizza =] we put on jon and kate plus 8 and pretty much ignored it. we went on the comp and jeannel did our nails. a little later we went to ake bean home(forreal this time) and right when we open the door, we see kimberley ann solis parking her car. she surprised us all. so we all hung out in my house. jeannel and hamed went to get weed from chase. mia took bean home. so it was just me and kim. we just talked and caught up. i really miss her. when everyone came back, we all went grocery shopping and stuff. we came back and cooked food and cake. we played rockband for a while, then said bye to kim and nathan and hamed. when jeannel came back, we watched wall-e =] i LOVE that movie. i really really love it. it was the cutest thing ever. after it was over, jeannel and mia left. best part of the day? - im a deinitely maybe =] that will be what i dream about. i LOVE today.

break!

yayyyy!!!!! first break of the school year. all week of bitches! im so excited. i think i have something to do everyday except wednesday, even though something will prolly happen that day. anyway im really excited for break. monday im having a jon and kate day with miar and jeannel. im SOOOOOO excited for that. all of use love jon and kate so its gonna be so much fun. we're gonna bake things and do nails and be in our jammies the whole time. just a total girl day!! something we all need. tuesday im going to see twilight with chamber people, then lunch then practice. i hope we still do well even though shaneo isnt there. wednesday i have no plans, but im sure there will be something to do. thanksgiving is on thursday. dinner at my grandpas and watch football. same routine. friday im prolly gonna start getting ready for the wedding. help set things up and stuff. saturday is the wedding!!! im SOOO excited. i get to wear a pretty dress =] then break is pretty much over. i also need to fit in my research paper. im very much looking forward to this break. its way over there

OHH MY GOOD!!!

so today there was no school. we went out to union landing to eat lunch cuz we were alll bored. it was me mia and lorisa in the car. we were waiting for everyone else to get there. while waiting, we're jamming to music and watching mia do her makeup and nails. then we started taking pics. me and mia did the SAME FACES!! AND MORE THEN ONCE. she is so the younger version of me =] then jeannel called and we made her come over to union landing to han gout with us. flemy bettina and hamed came over to the car. mia went to grab her bag, BUT grabbed the wrong one and locked her keys in the car. we were like... W.T.F. DO WE DO NOW?! we tried pushing down the window, but it wasnt working. some mexican guy was passing by and asked what happened, and he started to help us. he disappeared and heamed flemy bettina and jeannel all showed up. the mexican guy came back with a crowbar and screwdrivers. all of us were like "where'd he get those?" anyway he opened the car. we were very happy. after that we went to fuddruckers where we saw jeannel's family, so we left very quickly. then we went to in-n-out. we saw aron. he's so cute. after that we walked back to lucky's to get a movie. on the way, jeannel ran into a pole. THAT WAS THE FUNNIESTR SHIT EVER!!! me jeannel and bettina were all laughing hella hard. bettina was like "i think i peed alittle!!" so hamed goes "NIGGA STOP PEEING!" i laughed so hard. then we went to hamed's house to get movies. when we came back we went to best buy, where i stole hamed some earphones! that was pretty scary. but so much of a rush! after that jeannel and hamed came to my house. we ate food and watched family guy. we kept making hamed scared cuz my house was "too loud" haha. then before they left jeannel had to pee. we were standing outside the door when we suddenly heard "OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!" and jeannel ran out. turns out my cat was in the window watcing her pee and she looked up and saw her. HAHA it was hella funny. OH and jeannel and hamed had a deep throating contest with corndogs. hamed won of course haha. today was alot of fun. it was 11/11 and i wished for the best friends a girl could have, and i got them =] love you guys

I love Julianne

being section leader is a really really stressful job. although lots of my friends try and help me, no one understand the true pressures and what im going through except julianne. she was my section leader, so she knows what im feeling. we had a good talk about everything im feeling and she made me feel better about it. i dont feel so alone anymore. she made me understand its normal that i feel like this, and better about the things im not confident in. i just love choir and the sopranos so much, i hurt when we dont do well. i want the best for everyone, and its my responsibility to make you the best.

on a similar note: just because i say i feel alone, doesnt mean i dont apprciate you. i know you try hard, and i can tell. but you just arent confident enough to really stand out. i love you and i appriciate everything you do. just be confident and stop hiding, and ill notice you more. YOU know who you are. i love you and your awesome. just know that kay?

Prop 8

so the topic of prop 8 has been coming up in alot of my classes. alot of ignorant people are like " oh yeah vote yes on prop 8. gay marriage is stupid. its against my religion.. blah blah fucking blah" WHY DOES RELIGION MATTER?! marriage should not be about religion. its a bond between two people who love each other and want to commit their lives to one another. God or whatever religion you believe in has nothing to do with it. it shouldnt even be a factor. why do gay people have less rights? was not all men created equal? does it not say that in the decloration of independence? i dont feel very independent or equal since i dont have the right to get married. FUCK YOU ASSHOLES WHO ARE VOTING YES. just because you dont believe in it doesnt mean you have to take our rights away. your hella shady for that. you people on the streets yelling NO HOMO are fucking idiots. homosexuality is not going to stop just because we cant get married. i hate this. im so fucking annoyed right now.

today was horrible

today was orolly the worse day out of all my highschool years. and its really no lie. it all started in second period. we got super yelled at. she told me i had the wrost soprano section of all her days. she said thay we are insane, and we still dont know the basics. we either sing wrong vowels and correct notes. or right vowels and flat notes. i felt my heart get stabbed as she said this. i couldnt look anyone in the eye, in fear i would just burt into tears. luckily jamie was level-headed enough to think of a plan. i was so mad and hurt i angrily numbered off the sopranos and split them into groups like jamie said. i just listened to them, and my hopes went away. i realized some didnt care, some were super lost, some know but arent correct, and the only ones who really know what their doing are 1st sops. im alone. then they didnt know how to be staccato, so we got hella yelled at for that. finally shane-o had to resort to making them sing alone. my heart dropped. now we're gonna be even further behind 6th period. after class i couldnt think of anything but one word: FAILURE. people were trying to cheer me up, but i couldnt even smile. even hamed, who makes me laugh all the time couldnt do it. when chea hugged me and asked what was wrong, my eyes filled with tears and i couldnt talk. i couldnt go to 3rd cuz i woulda just broke down, so me and hamed cut. we went to the pool, and i helped him with his songs. when we came back i went to 4th and felt a little better. i was able to pretend i was okay. lunch was great as usual. then the last 2 periods were just blahh. after school was whatever. hung out with mia alyssa hamed andrew and melody. they made me forget about everything. then i went home and was whatever. ohhhh and afterschool hamed kicked my toe and made it bleed. now i have to get surgery. and my dad wants to invite CSM over for dinner!!!! what is this?!?! so that was my day. soprano sectional on wednesday. kim is coming to yell at them. should be entertaining

Saw movies

So its 2:39 am and I'm still awake. I went to Mia's house tonight instead of homecoming. It was hella fun. Mix taught me how to play unfaithful on the piano. we ate soooo much food. we picked up pizza and bought green tea. then we came home, at more food and watched saw. kim came over right in time to watch the movie, so we all watched together, scared. i had to leave right before the movie ended, but i'd already seen it, so i wasnt trippin. i got home and went online and talked with megan for hours!! we talked til she signed off about 20 minutes ago. i like her, she's my new friend =] so tmo i decided im gonna finish my drivers ed. i want to drive!! i hope my parents will let me drive alone even though i'll only have my permit. anyways, its late and i should prolly sleep. goodnight world, see you tmo =]

Goosebumps

I'm currently watching Goosebumps with Mia right now. It's become our tradition. Lights off and talk on AIM while watching it. I love her. So even thought nothing poitive happened in my classes today, I feel like i had a good day. I failed my vocab quiz in english, failed my quiz in physio, and got yelled at in chamber, but I'm not upset. I still had a good day. Tomorrow is gonna be great. Senior color is black. We're all meeting in the big green so we can march in together. it's gonna be hella fun. Then Homecoming game tomorrow night. Megan and Kim will be there yay! I dont know if I'm going to the dance anymore. It depends on who goes. All in all, this was a good week. I love spirit week. I'm gonna finish watching goosebumps now. It's hella scary tonight. Killer dolls!!!!

Distance brings us closer?

So is the saying distance only brings us closer really true? i think it is. it hurts, alot, but i think it only makes us closer. i've been experincing this with a few people latley. it hurts so much to see them slowly slipping away from me, but i wonder, is this for the better? i dont wanna lose them, so do i let them go? one of my expericenes, i feel like they were just forgetting me, simply not wanting me to be around. the other, i felt left out, like they dont need me to be there for them, and they are perfectly content talking about their problems with other people. but i think i fixed things, for now. i feel like im closer to these people now that we experienced space. it sucked, like so much for me. i was hurt and imcomplete without them. but now, i think we're good. but who knows. i always think these things and get bit in the butt. but im hoping that everything is good with us.

this goes to all my best friends:
i do need you in my life. i cant imagine my life without you guys. you make me who i am. i love you all, and i need you. dont leave me okay?

just because

i havent blogged in a while, and i just felt like writing. so choir basically runs my life, with a bit of school throw in there. being section leader is way tougher then i ever imagined. i dont get how everyone else was so amazing at it! i feel like im doing a horrible job, and not living up to the standards left for me to meet. Victoria was so funny and made us all feel comfortable when she was section leader. Julianne was just one of us, and would get on our asses if we were being horrible. i feel like im neither. they treat me like they treat each other, bad. i feel like i've been caste aside and theres nothing i can do about it. they dont even respect me enough to let me know they wont be there afterschool. even when i TELL THEM to let me know. i just feel like a failure in choir.

school is blah. my day is pretty boring. i have TA 1st period. i moslty text mia in that class. next i have choir, which i already descried. 3rd i have english. i have a 89.3! so clase to an A! then i have intro to stat. that class is pretty fun. therese makes me laugh. then i have lunch. thats a nonstop laugh fest. 6th period in APS. hansen can be a jerk, but its okay. i have a C+ =/ its only going up tho. then 7th i have honors phyio. that class will be the one that kills me. im doing okay right now. i have a C- right now. im really trying in that class, so im proud of my grade. and again, its only going up. but thats my life as of now. hope you enjoyyyyy

cant sleep

ive come to the realization on why my section hasnt been as good. on monday, my best friend, Andrew Ulang, my fellow section leader, had to drop adv choir. this really hurt me. i felt all alone then. it was suppose to be OUR YEAR! we were suppose to fight everyday in class and always be together. now we cant do this. yes we have afterschool and shit, but its not the same. we cant make the same jokes and shit. i just miss him alot. so i noticed ever since he left, my section has been getting gradually worse. now i dont blame it. cuz thats not his fault. but i think when he left, he took my ability to lead my section. he balanced me out so well, and it made me a better leader. now im all alone. and im scared im letting everyone down. i miss him so much, i need him. its not just wanting him to be in my class again. i NEED him there. he's my drug. i know that sounds corny but its true. he was my rock that i needed to perform well. i know i just gotta get over it, but shit its so hard. i might just have to be super bitch forever, cuz if im not im too soft and thats not right. i wasnt like this til i lost andrew. i feel so weak without him. i've let him down. i've let down my section. i've let down my choir. i've let down shane-o. it sucks to be that person. i dont wanna be the reason we're bad. i dont like having this burden on my shoulders. i feel like im carying for myself and andrew. i just need my balance back.

chamber auditions

BBD AND IF MADE CHAMBER!! omg great day =] now i have thursdays to look forward too with 3 of my best friends. fucking kim could be there too but her ass had to go and move to cupertino =[ so im gonna start being a bitch in choir now. i've realized these girls think they can take advantage of me. they are DEAD WRONG. just wait til tmo i will rip them a new one. im done with them not trying and just talking and shit. no more nice keli. they took advantage of her and they're not getting her back for a while. a least until they improve. so sopranos of yyall read this, beware. cuz im coming full force bitches!

knowing you, knowing me

CHAMBER AUDITIONS TODAY!! yay im happy =] i hope i get in again. i wore my chamber sweater as a plead to be put back in! haha and i hope mia and hamed get in too!! that would be the most fun afterschool ever. then we're going to dinner after at chili's! yeeee. overall it should be a good day. AND MIA MIGHT BE ABLE TO GO TO DINNER! WOOOO =D

surfer body

TA class again. bored as usual. texting Mia as always. love my IF =] cant wait to dance next period. go jewish song!

Sex on the Beach

i get a call yesterday from Kim asking if i wanted to go to a concert that thats. i said ill ask my dad, but i wasnt sure. so i asked him and he surprisingly said yes. so i told kim and she said, "REALLY?!" haha i know i didnt think i could go either. so she picks me up and we go get joanna. i love her im glad we got to hang out. after that we went to nina's house to get my ticket. she was sick so i bought the ticker from her. then we went to go pick up chase. after that we drove out to the city. we got there and passed where the concert one and ran into amy,jamie, and sam. they saved us spots in line so we werent in the way back =] we were hungry so we went to eat at what we thought was denny's, but it was really danny's haha. then we went and got in line. once we got in, we ran to the front. we got pretty good spots. the first band to come out was the morning lights. they were pretty mellow, but i liked them. next was the secret handshake. they were awe some. techno rock it was hella cool. next was phantom planet. they were hella cool too. they sing the OC theme song.CALIFORNIAAAAAAAAAAA. finally we got to the main event. i'd never heard anything from rocket summer, but i was still excited. allll the girls were going crazy over the lead singer, bryce. so thats when the pushing began. it was that bad, but enough to make me lose my group for a hot minute. after the concert my legs were so sore from standing for hella days and from straining to not move while being pushed haha. after the concert, we went to pick up cente from his house and went to a hookah bar. i had sex on the beach with joanna =] hahaha it was yummy. so was the berry guava one kim and chase had. it was fun. got home around 2. woke up at 7 this morning =/ ewww. i have a monster bruise on my ar, from where KIM BIT ME!! and she says shes not abusive. but all in all it was a great night. im so glad i went.

TA-ing is easy

im currently in campbells class for my TA. theres nothing to do =/ i finished all my homework(for once!!! wow) so now i have nothing to do. its my birthday tmo =] im hoping hamed mia andrew and kim can come over for dinner. it would make my birthday the best ever. im really excited. im gonna wear my birthday girl crown and hopefully i'll have balloons to carry around all day. some people think its a burden to carry them around, but i think its fun cuz then everyone knows its your birthday. so people you dont even know will yell "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" i think thats the best. so im rambling just to pass time. 30 more minutes in here. then i get to go to choir =] my brother is finally in that class. ima pick on him! hahaha. well everyone is going to. most kids would hate to have their younger siblings in their classes. im excited. i get to look out for him more and stuff. i dont know. its just my thoughts. oh well im gonna read now. it might be hard cuz campbells reading out loud. grapes of wrath. i never read it as a junior. guess i get to read it now haha. okay BYEEEE

Poem

so my mom had to write a poem about me in my world lit class for back to school night tonight. and this is what she wrote

Keli
spirited, trusting, loving, controlling
relative of parents wholove her to pieces, a brother who IDOLIZES her and a cat who thinks she is the only human
lover of being treated with respect, past, and friends
who feels the need to be accepted, the need to be loved, the need to be treated fairly
who fears losing friends, not being accepted for who she is, and disappointing her parents
who gives her time to her family and frineds, gives her love, and gives her advice
who would like to see her family and friends healthy and happy
resident of anything and anybody in Logan choir. oh and myspace
McHugh

this is what my mom thinks of me. i think its pretty accurate. i know theres a hidden message in there, but i choose not to address it, because it still makes me uncomfortable to talk about it with her. i know she says she accepts me for who i am, and wants me to help her understand, but i just dont know how. i dont know how to explain WHO i am. its not WHAT i am, its just me. how do you explain yourself to your mother, who is suppose to know you. she created you. maybe in time i can explain who i am, but right now i have other things to focus on. i hope she can understand this

goodbye fake camping, hella bufu land

im back from camping! that was such a great weekend. full of fun and unforgetable memories. lets start on thursday

THURSDAY 9/4
- Kim and Chase come pick me up from my house cuz i spent the night at Kim's. she had never been camping so i helped her with her packing and stuff. we get to her house and then jay comes, with a scary movie in hand. i was like oh shit, its 10 and we're gonna watch a scary movie. i hate scary movies. they scare me HAHA. anyway we pop in the movie and its all about zombies. about 10 minutes into the movie someone knocks at the door. i was like "is that the zombies?" and kim goes, "n0 its the fridge" and i said "the fridge knocks??" anyway it ended up being tony. when we finished with the movie, Kim decided to call people to freak them out about zombies. and it work on like half of them haha. that was pretty funny. anyway kim then called her neighbor and she came over, and brought a huge sword! (to fit the zombies with) haha. the boys left around 130 ish. so then it was just the girls.

FRIDAY 9/5
- We went upstairs to help Kim pack. i was tired cuz i had school that day so i'd been up for almost 24 hours straight. after we packed up kims stuff, we sat in her room and talked. Jen put on kungfu panda, but it kept skipping so we turned it off. then we decided we should prolly sleep, seeing it was 230. but Kim decided she wanted to watch gossip girl, so we stayed up for another hour and a half. i was laying on the bed, since im not into gossip girl. but when they were done i heard a final "OMG!!!" from the peanut gallery, so i knew it was over. then Kim jumped on me to make sure i was awake. i was. then she got a brilliant idea." Lets stay up all night and go to breakfast hella early in the morning!" well we agreed, only cuz we were both wide awake. so we turned the light on and started looking at old yearbooks and checking our stuff online. then we decided to only sleep for an hour, but it ended up turning into 3 1/2. we woke up to the alarm at 817, but didnt get out of bed til 9. my parents were coming at 1030 ish. so we showered and got all our stuff together, then went to a liqour store to get some energy drinks and stoges. we got vanillas =] mmmm my favorite! so we get back home and drink our rockstars and watch MADE, then go out for a stoge, then my parents finally got there. we get in the truck and drive to whereever we went. stopped for lunch, where we found the bathrooms said MAMA BEAR and PAPA BEAR. haha (inside joke) so we drive somemore and we finally get there. we unpack and go straight to the lagoon. me and kim we exhausted, so we agreed not to swim, which didnt happened. we sat in our chairs in the water for a while, then we swam out to the waterfall thing. then we built a sandcastle, then we played chicken by standing on the chairs and pushing eachother off. when we got back to the tent, it was blazing hot, but we were so tired, we took a nap. we woke up for dinner, then we started playing thinking games. it was so funny, cuz no one understood them for the longest time. then my brother started acting like he was on drugs and laughed at everything and anything he could. then he started speaking whale. then he thought asparagus started with an H! we didnt stop laughing for the longest time. then we explored the campsite. it was hella scary cuz it was so dark, but we took a flashlight so it made it somewhat better. when we came back we checked our phones, cuz we made a pact to turn them off all day and check them only at night and when we woke up. then we went into the tent and listened to music and fell asleep. Day 1 of fake camping comleted.

SATURDAY 9/6
- we got woken up by my niece. she hella attacked us. i looked at my phone, and it was 8 O'CLOCK! ahh thats so early! so we lay in bed for a while, then get up to eat. we ate muffins and hot chocolate. mmm yummy. so then we get dressed and wash up and drive to the store. we got lost o the way up and saw a coyote. that was cool. we get to the store finally and get our stuff. when we get back, we sit out and do NOTHING! haha. finally we get dressed in our bathsuits and drive over to the boats. we were gonna go on the innertube =] Kim was scared but we made her go anyway. so we got on the boat and went out to the water. the first people to go on the ineertube were me my mom and kim. kim was scared out of her mind, and really didnt wanna go. but once we started, she was having the time of her life! we were hella bounging and almost came out of our seats. it was so fun we went again. this time it was me kim and my brother. we went full throttle! and we were going so fast we almost all came our of our seats. we had confessions in the boat incase we didnt come back out alive hahaha. then we just swam around in the water. i had to make sure kim didnt drown haha. shes not the best swimmer. then we were dead tired, but we went the the swimming lagoon anyway. this time we really did just sit in our chairs. then we showered and took a nap outside. kim kicked me awake then we left to go eat. i introduced her to carne asada. best dinner ever! after that we chilled then made smores. i introduced kim to that too. then we did another walk around the campsite. we found where to KKK have their meetings haha. they listen to a radio and repeat what it says. it was pretty creepy. when we came back we stayed outside for a little while then went in the tent. we listenend to music and looked at old pictures. prom! and musical and stuff. then my mom yelled at us cuz we were "too loud" i personally didnt think we were, but whatever. we fell asleep not too long after that.

SUNDAY 9/7
we woke up because of my neice again. she liked to do that haha. it was 815, so we got more sleep then the night before. we were both super sore because of the innertube ride. we checked our phones then went to the bathroom. when we came back we started packing up. then i realzied i couldnt find my phone. we looked all over, and still nothing. so we packed up all our stuff, and headed out. ill never know if my phone is still there. we started driving, and it was really uncomfortable cuz we were all sore and now scrunched up. we couldnt get comfortable. we stopeed to get some food, and before we knew it we were home. we dropped Kim off at home, and then came home and unpacked. my cousins were here when we got home, so i couldnt sleep cuz they were loud. i showered, unpacked, and layed on my bed in the airconditioning. i missed that. i did some homework then fell asleep. im still sore, and still tired.

im so happy i went this weekend. ill prolly be sore tmo during school, and i have no phone, but those are just minor things that went wrong. walking around singing songs from musical and choir, having people look at us like we're crazy, screaming our heads off in the water, laughing for no reason, and just doing nothing, makes for a great weekend. im glad i got to bring my best friend with me. since she's going to start moving into her new apartment tmo, it was great to have 4 fun-filled days with her. cant wait til she comes camping with me again in july haha right kim? =]

frustrated

i thought i was pretty understanding of the whole schedule mix-up that happens every year at my school, during the first week. its now the second week of school and they have failed to change mine. they had ALL last week, plus a 3 day weekend. i need an ethnic study to graduate. and they havent given me one yet. im in a class that i passed already last year, and im in the wrong choir class. it is MANDATORY that i get my choir class switched, since im SECTION LEADER! its not like i can just become an alto. i NEED to be with the sopranos. but they just dont seem to think its that big a deal. well it is. if its not fixed by tmo, my father is going to come in and tell them to fix my schedule, and while he's at it, get my brother's fixed too. this is SERIOUS bullshit. they bring it on themselves too. Logan needs some serious help. RUE! (haha mia =])

first day of school

today was my last first day of highschool.. it wasnt that bad. my brother is a freshman so i had to help him out alot. but thats okay. its what im here for haha. my schedule is messed up right now. need to get changed into my own choir class. since im kinda SOPRANO SECTION LEADER! wow thats still weird, but fun to say =] so heres my schedule as of right now. all my teachers are hella cool. i wanna keep them.

1st - ASL 2 - perez (this needs to change. i already took this!)
2nd - APS - coats ( also needs to change. i need choir!)
3rd - world lit - chakrabarti (shes hella cool and funny)
4th - intro to stat - griego (favortie class so far. this ones gonna be fun)
5th - lunch (yay kimli and jared have it too!)
6th - adv choir (this is getting changed. i need 2nd)
7th - honors physio ( this one will kill me!)

so yeah a few changes. i wanna try and keep my teachers tho. they're all really cool and funny.. its gonna be a great year! =]

birthday list

BIRTHDAY IN 22 DAYS =] HERES MY LIST:

- balloons to carry around all day
- paramore CD
- jamba juice card
- gossip girl season 1
- one tree hill seasons 2 3 or 4
- rockband! =]
- laptop (trying to get my father to get me this)
- anything with stars
- cute shirts size L (my boobs are big)

but mostly i would just like a HAPPY BIRTHDAY and a hug =]

SEPTEMBER 11TH.. CANT WAIT! =]

freshman orientation

today was freshman orientation. i went with my brother to save him the humiliation of going with our parents and because i wanted to see my friends. so we get in and i hellla just start helpiing all my friends in link crew. i helped cheer on the freshman and getting them organized and stuff. i was basically a link crew member! except i dont get hours =/ whatever. so i went with hamed and jan (ironic couple yeah?) and their group to help them out with showing the, around school and stuff. it ws pretty fun. then it got hot! so me sherry mia rachel alyssa and hamed went and ate at L&L. yay choir people! =] so we ate and then talked and hung out for a while, then sherry drove us all home. so yeah good day =] now im bout to go swim with paige =]

school =/.. well really just choir

we start school in 10 days! and their dumbasses havent even given out the schedules.. it makes me so mad how unorganized they are. its just annoying. so since school starts in 10 days, that means im gonna be a section leader in 10 days.. thats crazy!!! ugh and then i also heard some annoying and fucked up news about the classing for adv choir.. the dumbass school might squish ALL 100 people in adv choir into one class. ARE YOU SERIOUS?! how are we suppose to learn if there is helllla people up in there.. and then i cant take roll cuz melody will be doing it cuz she's secretary. this sucks.. NOT how i want to leave ADV! i really hope they dont do that, it will make my job alot harder.. but i think im finally ready for it tho. im not scared like i use to be. i finally feel like i CAN lead a section. i've been trained by the best, and i refuse to let them down. my sopranos need me, and im gonna be there. i plan on giving them all nicknames too haha. just so no one feels left out =]

random hangouts are the best

so last night around 8 i get a call from someone i would least expect, chase mccane. he asked if i wanted to hang out and of course i did, i hate being at home. so he comes to get me and he's with antoinette. so im like yay choir people! then we go get paulina (shes helllllla funny people) then kristel joins our circle of randomness. haha.. so we drive around automall for a while then we go back to UC and go by chase's work where all the girls were drooling over his co-workers.. that shit was hella funny hahaha. then we went to walmart to get a movie and food, which we didnt end up doing, so then we went to starbucks and mcdonald. antoinette was hellllla hyper of her black tea with strawberry syrup. hahaha so we went back to antoinettes and chilled for a while. all in all, that was such a great night. we need to do it again fereal

i have no clever title =]

i hate being at my moms house.. not because i dont love my family, living here is great. but i feel cut off from my friends since im so far away. i hate not being able to drive. damn me and my procrastination on drivers ed! uggghhh... anyway.. i miss my bests =[ Kim's in chicago!!! i feel empty with her gone. she cant just come visit me when she's bored cuz shes helllla far away. makes me sad. everyone else is all the way in UC. which is far from my house if you dont have a car. but ill be back there soon.. friday! so the CPS (child protective service) lady is coming to my house tmo. i really dont get why shes still coming, the incident happened helllla months ago. if you dont get what i mean, CPS gets involved with your life if the cops get a call about child abuse, which in our case, they did. my dad put his hands on my brother, yet again, so CPS came into our lives, yet again. its sooo annoying to have some lady who thinks she knows about you and your life come in and ask, "so how is everything? any problems? blah blah fucking blah" why are you asking?! its not like your gonna fix SHIT! i told her i dont wanna live with my dad anymore, and she was just like. " oh, well we have to bring that up with the court" and got all legal on me and shit. just get me the papers to sign! seriously they dont need to make this shit hella complicated. its so annoying how they butt into my life, and dont even try fixing it! and i gotta get up early to see this bitch! I HAVENT SLEPT IN ALL WEEK! its freakin summer, and its almost over. i think i should be able to sleep in dammit. okay his is my rant for the day. thank you for listening =]

"schedule pick up" continutation

so today pretty much went as expected.. got my Id picture taken(hella ugly btw!) then lunch with kimlayyyy and jared.. we didnt even play speed!!! we talked and hung out for a while.. then i walked over to the pool. i got to see miss jessica tam and vivian dinh! such a great surprise.. so we talked for a while. then my mommy picked me up. now i get to go get my new phone and ill be albe to text like a normal person again! yay!! haha

"schedule pickup"

today is suppose to be the day seniors gt their schedules.. but, sone our school is HELLA STUPID, they lied and were only taking our pictures for the ID we need to get on campus. i went yesterday with the juniors and we even need to use it to get off campus! i was like are you serious? school hasnt even started and your making us use these ugly things?? but at least it will be a good day. im having lunch with my old lunch krew!! yeee.. then around 330 im gonna go visit miss jessica tam at the logan pool, i miss that hoe so much! =] im still debating if im gonna do a pretty face of a funny face for my ID since its not going in theyearbook. i hope they let me wear my sunglasses!

schedules

so apparently were not getting our schedules this week. were just going in for our ID picture and thats it. WTF?! are you serious?? this school is so unorganized its crazy. just when i thought we would get our schedules in a sufficient matter, i get this news. whats the point of going? they just want us to have our picture ID so we can get on campus? whats the point of it if we dont have our schedules?! they better be more organized then they were last year. cuz that was a bunch of bullshit. UGHH this school irrates me. thank god its my last year. HELLO TO MY LAST FIRST DAY OF HIGHSCHOOL!

Jon and Kate plus 8

best friggen show ever!!! the kids are soooo cute! i just watched 2 new episodes back to back. man if i lived in pennsylvania, i would hella be a babysitter for them. only if cara and mady were at school tho, cuz mady bugs the hell outta me. i love this show.. my new obsession for TV =]

Its not funny

i hate being used. i hate that im so susptible to being used. i dont know what it is about me but im always the one who has to do everything! in my family, since im the youngest out of my cousins, they take advantage of me. they make me get them drinks or if they want something im the one who has to do it. then if i dont want to do it, i get picked on. ill say something like "why cant you do it?" and they just go, "cuz your the youngest" i HATE that answer. i'm a very helpful person, and i will do my part, but there comes a time when it just becomes too much. im not a servant, i am a HUMAN BEING! just because im the youngest doesnt mean i have to do everything for you. i keep my mouth shut because you guys get mad if i say something, but it really bugs me. another thing that hurts is the constent teasing. so i may not be the best dancer, horseback rider, or walk in heels the way you guys can. but seriously there comes a time when the teasing becomes just cruel. okay teasing me about it for a little bit is fine, but keep bringing it up and keep talking about to EVERYONE all the time, is just annoying. its not funny anymore no matter how much you think it is. and being ganged up on is no fun either. you might think your being funny, but really, im hurting inside. i wish you guys could see that and then just stop but you guys keep going. Just realize now, its not funny

Random Thoughts

Hiiii.. so this is like my first blog.. ever. Hamed and Mia were talking about it so i decided to try it out. So yeah... summer is almost over and im kinda sad. A lot of my friends who graduated are moving on to college all over the place, and it makes me sad because i dont like losing touch with people. I got really close with alot of them and now im afraid i wont see them unless its a random visit home. on the other hand, i know my best friends aren't going to abandon me. I found my bests friends this summer and have gotten really close to them, and now cant imagine my life without them. Its weird, but all my best friends and i didnt get along when we first met. with hamed, i just thought he was another flaker who thought choir was just an easy A, and he wasnt gonna come to class or help us out at all. but then we started talking (how i dont remember) and he's become someone i can depend on. i go to him all the time for advice or if i need to be cheered up because people dont tret me right. he's my bay bee daddy and i love him. HOMO BESTS FOR LIFE! with kim, it wasn't that we didnt like each other. it was that i was intimidated by her. my sophmore year of choir, we went to hawaii to compete. i felt like Kim was one of those snobby girls who was too cool to be a friend to someone like me, but that only made me even more skeptical. haha i dont know, but then musical came along, and we became brothers, literally. we would have serious talks about sexual orientation and how far we've gone during breaks and stuff. haha. then one night we went to a party together, and that was SO much fun. i was so gone it was hella funny. i didnt stop talking and i became a jabawokee =] after that we became hella close and now she's the love of my life.With andrew, we never hated each other. our friendship was random. he joined 2 of my choirs so i guess i was forced to talk to him. then we just clicked and we became hellla close really fast. he's my best friend, and now he's my husband, who cheats on my with men hahaha! but you gotta love him. with jan, i met her my sophmore year. she would always come to my chemistry class after 7th period to met lawrence. i thought she was crazy cuz she was so hyper. then she joined choir and we met formally. i dont remember how we became close either, but she's my babygay and other half and i love her for it =] mia and mix are my newest additions to my circle of best friends. Mia was my fellow soprano, but we never really talked. i think we started talking this summer, and im glad for it. shes so funny and is my inspiration!! i still need to make her a nickname, but we're both bad at it so we're stuck for now haha. I met Mix at show choir tryouts. we were in the same group. he was so cute! i would date him if he was straight. then we started hanging out this summer and i love him. he is just so much fun to be around its the best! i think its weird for me to be hanging out with almost all juniors. 5/6 friends i have are juniors. im use to hanging out with older people, but i guess theres always time for change. another thing on my mind is choir. oh boy is that on my mind right now. we start school in a little less than 3 weeks, which means i will be officially in charge of 30 sopranos. IM SCARED OUT OF MY MIND! i have no idea what im doing, what im suppose to do, or how im going to do it! WHAT DID I GET MYSELF INTO!?! everyone keeps telling me, "its okay Keli, your gonna be fine. your hella good you got this. dont worry, your gonna be fantastic." although the support is great, and it makes me feel a little better, im still scared shitless. Im being compared to 2 of the greatest section leaders ever! im afraid im gonna bomb and disappoint them, shane-o, and worst of all my sopranos. MY sopranos! its MY job to make them good. MY job to make sure they do their best. MY job to make them winners. how do i do that? what if they dont like me? what if they revult and decide to not try and then im to blame becasue i cant motivate them to do anything. it's such a scary thought to be in charge of someone else. i know its not a life or death thing, but if you were a choir geek like me, its pretty damn close. Advanced choir has won 1st and gold 2 years in a row, i dont want it to be MY fault we cant keep that tradition going. its just crazy. im not even scared for my last year in highschool. all the SATS and college apps. im just scared to fail in choir, and be known as the worst section leader ever. so yes these are my random thoughts. hope you enjoy =]